Black Bear Calling Synchronicity, Part I


Encouraged by my friend to tell the story:

A story in parts. A true story.

The year may have been 1997, or 1998. This is a test telling, and the specifics can be confirmed later.

I had recently returned from the tunnel with the bright, white light at the end. I shot through it at breakneck speed, feet first, roaring like the finest locomotive, clanging, head banging, roughed up yet lightning smooth. I did not return by that same route. The return route included an encounter, an experience, a wandering of sorts, an observation, a question and a concern, before “snap,” I was back, pulling the oxygen mask from my mouth and nose, facing them, eyes to eyes to eyes, seeing their deep fear, hearing it in their quivering, anxious voices. I am apologizing. I am wondering…

“Don’t go home alone.”

It was after “the blood transfusion.” Three pints. I was still adjusting, transitioning, melding…the strangers blood with my own, up close and personal. Strange, new tastes in foods, and sudden repulsion in the presence of some of my favorites…and the compromises, who would win out, how could we find a way, who is this stranger within, who are you, who were you? The smell of the juicy steak, now rotten, like death on a platter. The rejuvenating cells coursing through my body, making repairs in places, medicine never before known, new habits, and the weakening, the alterations, things dying and being replaced by someone else’s things, some better some worse, it’s how it must be. I am no longer who I once was, and yet I am still here.

“Don’t go home alone.”

I cannot tell you how much of the change was by the blood or by the light.

The feeling of suffocation, the urgency, time is being wasted, the realization, in the blink of an eye, I can’t catch my breath, the heaviness of this earthbound body, just like that, death comes. I’m so angry. I never knew how close it walks beside me, how thin the veil. Who gave you permission to save me?

“Don’t go home alone.”

Part I of A Story in Parts, with permission.

Brenda and Tanya
Black Bear Crossing

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