I thought I understood. I did not.
I am learning what it means to be in my body, my animal body.
I have always risen above the darkness, left my body. So I did not “feel” the darkness. I am not accustomed to feeling in this way. I am raw.
My animal body, my instincts, are here to protect me, to warn me of danger, to keep me alive.
I have always associated “instinct” with “intuition.” This is a different knowing.
This is the ears of a doe, hearing the leaves crackle under the hunter’s foot. These are the yellow eyes that can see in the dark. This is my wolf snout, snotty and tracking the scent. This is the wind in my mane. This is my nerve endings going taught, and my fur bristling.
I am animal. I am animal. I am animal.
How did I forget?
I know the smell of the bear on the bark, and I know the smell of blood, and…I could eat you alive, tear the tendon right off your bones, and crunch you between my teeth.
This is why I have come to this place.